Ben will be home very soon. I have learned so much living on my own. Like if you want to hang curtains you need to use a “spinny gun shaped thing and a drill bit”. and how snickers like Ben more than me.

What I really discovered is everything I’m not. Like it doesn’t matter how many people call me Paris, barbie, gang afflilated, anorexic, ditz; Doesn’t require hours of proving them wrong. Those people will grow up with miserable attitudes and have miserable lives.

So what am I?

I am everything I’m not. Maybe I have things in common with all those other people but that doesn’t make me them. Most kids my age want to travel to Europe to go find themselves. ‘Forget’ that- If you want to find yourself go to the middle of no where. those clowns are looking for who they can be like! Sorry I gre wup in the U.S. for a reason! Why would I think the real me is sitting on a bench in a pub in Endgland? Please!

So who am I?

Everything I’m not; made me everything I am.

“If we assume man has been corrupted by an artificial civilization, what is the natural state? The state of nature from which he has been removed? Imagine, walking up and down the forest without industry, without speech, and without home.“- Rousseau

There is no artificial civilization out here. However, the middle of the country is quickly being corrupted by the sides of the country. If you want to see the last of an uncorrupted world you need to come here fast. Don’t be disappointed- it is just that.

it’s ten forty nine. (10:49)

I’ve been in school for 5 weeks now and I haved learned more than I give myself credit for. Liek I learned that my hair is not the blonde it could be… not even close really.

I also learned what it feels like to not feel good about having a 99.6 in class. That is a really high average… but when it isn’t the top grade it’s really just a sharp blow to the head.

Ben will be home in less than 19 weeks hopefully. If my calculations are correct. I can’t wait. I could really use some help…

Color on color gets darker. massage insertion to origin… I mean I really need sleep…

Okay, I’ve been in school for three weeks, Ben has been gone for like 6- ish. School is good, lack of Ben is not. Healthy hair generally takes FOREVER to dry.

If one more person tells me to stop tanning I’m going scream. Fine it’s bad for your skin. I don’t tell you to stop smoking, or eating crap, or anything. it’s my body, I tan because I want to. Okay?

http://www.tanningtruth.com/

Here you will learn that not getting enough sun is linked to skin cancer.

In case you were wondering EVERYTHING causes cancer.

New recipe coming soon: Pizza Crostata!

The worst idea you ever had was to use fat free and low fat ingredients in your cakes and cookies. It really takes away from the whole flavor that the recipe you are following is trying to create. Dessert is meant to make you fat. If you want to cut calories then cut the serving size in half. Don’t use sugar, egg, or milk substitutes.

In other news I’m trying to find a recipe for a strawberry pie. and I mean strawberry pie with the lattice crust on top. Not like a twisted strawberry shortcake. So if anyone has anyone has any good recipes for strawberry pie feel free to email them to me or post them here.

In other other news… I worked for like a hour shoveling a ton of snow two days ago, and that night the wind blew the snow back over my sidewalks! Super.

Today was a really sad day. Ben was deployed early this morning, or at least thats when I dropped him off… whatever happened after that is a mystery to me. I will never forget my face. That is the face you make when you truly lose something you love. Thank God it is only a couple months.

I will not be getting a federal grant for 2008-2009. I made too much, I saved too much. So did Ben. I don’t know how I feel. I would like to get the free money coupon for hundreds off school. But on the other hand, I guess I don’t terribly need it. I’m really glad I worked hard at rite aid and made tons of money. And saved it. Did you know I made 205.99 off of interest alone in 2007? I just found that out yesterday. Thats like a part time pay check at Rite Aid for doing nothing. This is when I keep looking back thinking the dress wasn’t worth it. It doesn’t really matter how we pay for school, as long as we don’t end up paying more then it’s worth. Thank god it is so cheap.

I don’t know who I’m trying to convince that not getting a grant isn’t that bad. I guess there are lots more people who want to go to school and do need that money. And I want them to have it.

All the money in the world is God’s money, and I know he gives it out when you need it.

I saved hard to go to school and thats what I’m doing, I never planned on getting help from the government… I don ‘t need it. What I need is a rolling cart… thing.

My new favorite food is crostini. it’s like… a mini Bruschetta… which is hands diwn the most unhealthy thing on Rosa’s menu…

that or fried eggplant fries.

Anyway I’m going to come up with a bunch crostini recipes soon… I already have a few in my head so check back soon for those.

Other than that … I’m knitting a decorative towel. I think I’m alot less than what most people expect… but I don’t mean that in a bad way. simply put I’m just not Paris Hilton.

But I am a Giants fan and I’m praying for a win tomorrow night. ‘Praying’ being the key word.

1. the worst part about growing up is finally having to put behind the “Santa Clause is real” notion. Since I know Ben is upstairs wrapping my presents now I must admit there is no Santa… There is just Santa Ben… And Santa Ben said I can’t leave the computer room until he is finished wrapping my gifts. And just to let you know as Santa Ben has been wrapping presents every upstairs kitchen/living room appliance has gone off, and I’ve heard several crashing or banging noises…

2. Dishes don’t do themselves. And since they don’t I have to clean them off. And running out of cascade is my worst nightmare.

3. You really do get used to being in 7 degree weather out here. Today it was about 25 or 30 degrees out and I wore a thin zip up hoodie and flip flops around all day. Don’t get me wrong is till walk around saying “Why does it have to get so cold? I hate these stupid mountain towns!!!”. Oh and I am also good at shoveling snow. However, I decided to boast all day about the “great job I did”… and how “no one else did the side walks as well as me”… and it snowed the next day again… thats why no one else shoveled.

4. I like driving on highways. At first when we bought my car Obviously Ben lead me home while I drove the new car home… I was really nervous. I felt like it was the first time I ever got behind the wheel, except this time there was no one next to me helping me, and no one next to me having a panic attack. It was just me. And I was nervous. The speed limits are way faster out here, and you can not go anywhere without getting on the highway. But actually I like it. I like going faster. I like being in a car that moves, merging onto highways, my car’s obnoxious base, passing slow people. Driving out here is kind of tricky because the roads tend to change, but as long as you are paying attention, it’s fun.

5. I really don’t like being that drunk. Actually I’m glad I started drinking when I did, or I’d probably be passed out at a bar now. I’m just over it. I hate under age drinking, because I am I always afraid some one is going to take a picture of me and some one else will see it… and not really yell at me, but be embarrassed by me.

Case in point:

Me on my birthday after my parents took steph and I to my favorite restaurant: ::throwing up:: “Guys I ate lettuce first! Why isn’t the lettuce coming up first?”

Me ten minutes later: ::throwing up more:: “Guys- I found the lettuce!”

The point is I like to drink, but not like I’m 18.

6. Number five on my list made me want a sangria… who doesn’t love that fruity wine bubble taste?

I hate college. How are you going to go to school for four years, suck at everything except drinking, flunk out, and then get some secretary job because you almost graduated and then act like you’re better than me? WHAT? Forget that. Forget that. I hate when people think they are so awesome because they get away with drinking at school. Yeah awesome. Here’s a clue… Your parents know retard! They know everything. Just like when you drank all their wildberry vodka and then filled the bottle up with water… Yeah they know. Hey and by the way- I give a crap how much you paid for those sunglasses! You’re retarded. You’re not rich! Your parents are!

I don’t know where that came for.

Money isn’t everything, family is.